Using Humor and Connection To Bridge Divides

By Suzy Frisch

Karith Foster knows what it’s like to face a tough crowd made up of people completely different from her, whether in viewpoint or background. It’s something she has done regularly throughout her career as a comedian, radio and television show co-host, and public speaker. Instead of highlighting these differences, she weaves together humor, empathy, and the perspective that people are more alike than dissimilar to break down barriers and open the door for dialogue.

The keynote speaker at the League of Minnesota Cities 2025 Annual Conference in June, Foster will present “A Celebration of Strength in Community, Connection, and (Yes) Chaos” with her signature mix of humor and expertise in the human condition. Foster is the founder of InversityTM Solutions, a consulting and training firm that works with corporations, organizations, and academic institutions to improve communication and connection.

Foster coined the term Inversity to move away from traditional diversity theories and workshops, calling them contrary to their objectives. A self-professed lover of words and etymology, Foster breaks down the word diversity this way:

“The first three letters of diversity are the same as divide, division, divorce — and then we’re shocked that diversity isn’t bringing everyone together,” she said. “Inversity is shifting from what is separating and dividing us to look at what we actually have in common, which is more than we don’t.”

As an alternative, Foster’s Inversity framework covers a wide range of “in” themes, including inviting, inclusive, in common, and innovative. She aims to focus on the notion of being introspective at the annual conference, particularly recognizing and celebrating individuality and people’s intrinsic value. That might encompass honoring the background, heritage, and identity of individuals without overemphasizing any one aspect.

“With introspection, when you look inside yourself and really see yourself and understand your own value and worth, that’s when you can see it in someone else,” Foster said. “Instead of focusing on what divides us, we need to focus on what we have in common and be truly inclusive with one another.”

Opening doors for dialogue

In a time of divisiveness and constant, rapid change, Foster focuses on opportunities for local leaders to extend that introspective vantage point into their communities and discover ways to use their assets to strengthen relationships and bonds.

The hallmark of Foster’s work is humor. A professional stand-up comedian for more than 25 years, Foster knows how to get people laughing. Even though laughter is said to be strong medicine, there’s science and a purpose behind the joy. Research shows that humor positively affects learning, retention, and motivation.

“When we can laugh at something, especially ourselves, we can be in a more neutral space for awareness, for healing, and for catharsis,” she said. When people feel stressed, it activates the amygdala, the part of the brain that triggers the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response. Messages and emotions get filtered through the context of being attacked, putting people on the defensive. “If you’re laughing or relaxed, that’s when epiphanies happen. Humor is an incredible tool to get people relaxed enough to be able to have an uncomfortable conversation.”

Foster developed her perspective on traditional diversity methodology and honed her skills at navigating uncomfortable situations with humor in varied situations. A key experience was being hired as co-host for the “Imus in the Morning Show” after shock jock Don Imus was vilified for making racist remarks about the Rutgers women’s basketball team. Foster thought she was being hired to engage in a dialogue about race and racism in America, but instead found that her desire to have meaningful and thoughtful conversations wasn’t appreciated. Here, diversity was being deployed for the wrong reasons, and she was there to check a box.

When she left the show, Foster sought to find a way to actually have the conversations she craved and believed were necessary. She created “Stereotyped 101,” presenting the program for college students across the country. Foster brought humor, personal stories, and a way to build connections so that people didn’t feel so alone.

Over time, her themes evolved as she wove in other experiences, such as working on the ABC news show “The View,” in human resources at a Fortune 100 company, and writing the book, “You Can Be Perfect or You Can Be Happy.” Inversity was born from her engagement with new audiences including companies big and small, federal agencies like the FBI, universities, and organizations from the Ms. Foundation for Women to Young Americans for Liberty.

Foster wants Inversity to help people handle uncomfortable situations or conversations. One way she approaches this work is through the lens of CARE — conscious empathy, active listening, responsible reactions, and environmental awareness.

“It’s a muscle that you have to exercise,” she said. “If we can invoke CARE when we have an interaction or a conversation, it leads to more caring and communication and respect. There needs to be room for people to be human and make mistakes and then have forgiveness and grace because we’re all doing the best we can.”

Being able to build connection and community is ever more important, Foster notes, in light of the U.S. surgeon general’s 2023 report, “Our Epidemic of Isolation and Loneliness.” As Vivek Murthy, MD, wrote, loneliness is a mental and physical condition that affects people of all ages and socioeconomic backgrounds, harming individuals and societal health.

To combat loneliness, it’s vital that individuals, workplaces, schools, communities, and local governments work to strengthen connections and relationships. Improving communication skills, meeting people where they are, and not being afraid to ask for support are all ways to do that.

“It’s a huge problem that not many people are talking about. We weren’t brought onto this planet to be siphoned off into categories,” Foster said. “We can instead focus on community and celebrating community. We’re all living together, and that means we have shared experiences, and we can utilize our communities to rely on one another, to support one another. Community is a strength that allows us to serve one another and work with one another.”

Small, doable steps

Working in public service, it can be difficult when leaders constantly hear disparate viewpoints. The overall temperature is high, and conversations often get heated. Still, there can be opportunities. Leaders can refocus and recenter their goals, putting some of these CARE and Inversity concepts into action, Foster said. Remember that small steps can make an enormous difference, and that soft skills like listening, embracing change, compassion, and connection can be their superpowers.

“If they can be courageous enough to have these conversations that might be challenging at times, to truly listen and not just hear, then they can take action,” Foster said. “They are letting people see that they have been heard. And when people feel heard, they feel loved and they feel valued. And when they feel valued, they add value. It’s exponential and has a domino effect.”

After connecting with community members and having a range of conversations, it can feel overwhelming to know where to start. Foster recommends considering doables instead of trying to accomplish everything at once. It’s not a to-do list, which can be intimidating, but the steps that show community members they are serious, they are listening, and they are bringing people along to help support the change.

It’s also important to remember that community building isn’t a one-and-done exercise. Foster likens it to the Japanese practice of kaizen, a continuous improvement process often used in business settings. She keeps kaizen in mind regarding her own work with Inversity.

“It’s incremental Inversity. I can’t think that one keynote is going to change the world. It has to be a practice. In kaizen, you practice the 1% where every day you do something in the name of improvement,” she said. “In the name of building community, that 1% will add up over time.”

In our society of instant gratification, people want to see progress yesterday, but Foster recommends being realistic and patient. “We have to recognize that it might not happen overnight. But one day we might wake up and see this amazing community where people came on board with us,” she said.

“They see that our heart is in the right place and our minds are clear and we have the best intentions. Will we make mistakes along the way? Heck yeah. But we’re human and hopefully we have the insight to make a course correction. The biggest thing that holds people back is fear. Be fearless and powerful in your own way so that you can contribute.”

Suzy Frisch is a freelance writer.